One Resident’s Friday
My afternoon was completely
unforeseeable although predictable… predictable because I was scheduled to
spend time with the chaplain at
Instead, Father Amy called
me from the nursery and said to come meet her, but only if I wanted. My
curiosity was piqued, and I walked down the corridor completely unaware of the
situation and ceremony I would participate in.
We met outside of the
nursery, and she whisked me back into an exam room. There, on top of a mini
refrigerator, was a small bundle. Immediately I knew a deceased child was
wrapped carefully inside. She explained the situation to me…
Baby
Last night, our CEO Deb Ryle
stayed and spoke to me about her leadership style. Deb believes in investing in
people and treating others as she would like her mother, her child, or herself
to be treated. Her example and generous spirit have permeated the organization
in such a way that a compassionate and caring culture has developed.
Deb and I discussed some
situations in Labor and Delivery and the Emergency Room that had left the staff
feeling emotionally-drained. Last night a mother came in with a significant
medical condition, threatening her child’s life and her own. The staff and physicians
acted swiftly and smartly. At the same time, another mother came into the
hospital with a dead child in her womb. One mother would embrace life while the
other would encounter death. Deb had told me about the first mother/child
situation that had stirred the staff. What she and I didn’t know of was the
second mother’s struggle.
Father Amy enlisted my help
as I attempted to calm my emotions and act logically. Are not grief and shock
logical reactions to death? She began to unwrap the delicate bundle, so that I
could look at this baby. I inhaled sharply, and all at once, I saw a precious
little body warped by disease. From the shoulders up, the child appeared fairly
normal, but normalcy stopped there. He had an organ protruding from his back;
an organ that clearly did not make it to its proper internal position. His legs
were curled to one side, almost fish-like, with one foot completely turned
backwards.
Father Amy arranged him just
so in his blanket bought by his parents, and she gave me the camera. Suddenly,
I had become the official photographer of this child, so that the parents could
have a lasting image of the life they created. As I took pictures, I felt like
I was participating in some bizarre ritual. Why would parents want a picture of
their dead baby? Amy replied that they may not want it at the immediate time of
loss, but after some time has passed, they are always thankful for those
tangible mementos of their baby. It’s one of the few remembrances they have of
a brief life.
We positioned Baby Jordan,
not more than the size of a man’s hand, in such a way as to hide his
deformities and emphasize his sweet, shut eyes and lips. I took picture after
picture wondering where my courage and strength had come from. If I was doing
this family a service, then I wanted to help.
I still did not fully
comprehend this act. Why were pictures so important? Round
After our pictures, we
bundled Baby Jordan, first in a white silk blanket and then in a blue blanket,
tying each with a blue ribbon bow. Our last act was to place his body in that
refrigerator—his resting place until the funeral home came to get him.
It was gut wrenching,
terrifying and heartbreaking to see a tiny life extinguished. The essence of
the moment was a reminder that life is a miraculous, precious gift.
After our ceremony with Baby
Jordan, we then walked back into the nursery and placed an angel medallion on
another baby’s isolette. Baby
The pieces of the puzzle started
to connect in my mind. You cannot come to work everyday and experience this as
a casual and common occurrence. But it happens. Nurses, physicians, and other
staff courageously and compassionately take care of patients and their loved
ones. It’s their job, but it becomes so much more. Their role defines who they
are: passionate people providing compassionate care. Day in and day out, they
give their love, their concern, and their lives to everyone whom they
encounter.
Being a healthcare
professional is no easy vocation, and it is certainly about more than technical
skills.
You have to have heart.