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Oct. 21 , 2005

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Stupid mistakes provide valuable experience

The refrain is more heartfelt and clearer than it was in the past: "I made a stupid, stupid mistake." Monday night hearings with the Student Conduct Board have rarely drawn as much self-criticism from those in trouble as they have this year.

There often is no good explanation for peeing in public just 10 feet from a public restroom. Certainly we have all thought that parking cones would make the perfect dorm room accents. And isn't everyone using drugs?

Students shouldn't feel alone. I have made plenty of stupid mistakes, as have most of my colleagues and probably most parents.

As for this semester's "mea culpa" proclamations, perhaps some of the stakes have been higher, or maybe the damning evidence has been too overwhelming and begging mercy has made the most sense. Perhaps students simply get it. They have done things that they wouldn't do again if given the chance. The Board is often left to wonder if the remorse is from doing wrong or from getting caught. It doesn't really matter because it is usually genuine and sincere.

In a time when mistakes are not tolerated by society, universities afford an opportunity for students to learn by messing up. Cultural messages of being wild in college, students experiencing independence for the first time, peer pressure and simple youth combine to create an environment ripe for making mistakes.

Not that those are elements specific only to this generation. If you had been my classmate in the early '80s you would know my own impressive resume of mistakes. Now, in a position to pass judgment and form impressions, consider the source. My mistakes included what - at the time - I considered as innocent pranks but that I now call illegal activity.

There's plenty more. I camped out for a room, so I could live in the same dorm as a young woman I liked. I understood The Knack to be the second coming of the Beatles. I went through an entire literature course without reading any of the books. I took out a student loan, lost the paperwork and forgot which bank I used. I did much dumber.

Mistakes are part of coming of age. Those who have made them try to help students avoid the same pitfalls because those errors often have consequences that can be painful and even deadly. Why should you go through them if you don't have to? The truth is, it is how most adults have learned, and students should be afforded similar regrettable opportunities.

The University usually offers a safe environment to mess up and move on - whether it is the Conduct Board, Residential Life staff, professors, friends or parents offering the necessary corrections and counsel.

So for those of you expressing or feeling that you have been stupid, that you don't know why you did what you did, that you would like to take it back or do it again: Learn and move on. Don't beat yourselves up too much. You're not alone.

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