100 Albums to "Bench"

So here it is. About 82 albums that have all resided in my CD player at one point or another in the past years. But as the years past, the CD's become somewhat of pariahs in my catalog. All these albums are about one step away from cult status in my book, but how are they holding up through the years? Sure they make it out every once in a while for two or three songs, but quickly have me searching my cd storage for something more palatable. So while every album here is a "MUST HAVE", they also are worthy of a little more bench time. Maybe in 15 years or so things will change, but for now here is the list. It was written by Wesley Kose at jaguaro.org. He seems to have every album I do, and have the same feelings about most of it! If you can think of any others albums I should add here then shoot me an email.

Original Article

The Clash - Combat Rock

The classic lineup of the Only Band That Mattered was losing a lot of common ground by the time they recorded their last album together. Joe Strummer's obsession with Beat didactics, Mick Jones' infatuation with classic rock stardom and Topper Headon's addiction to heroin weakened the vision and dynamics that fueled their best albums and made a mess out of Combat Rock. As a result, decent tracks like "Straight to Hell," "Ghetto Defendant" and "Should I Stay or Should I Go" can't compete against crap like "Know Your Rights," "Atom Tan" and "Overpowered by Funk." Of course, the album was a hit and completist fans like me may never part with it. But initiates would do well to stick with the earlier albums, or at least the Clash on Broadway box set.
U2 - The Joshua Tree
Oh, to be earnest, politically correct, Christian, and filthy rich. It's been 15 years since the birth of this critical and popular favorite, and U2-worship still hasn't been eradicated. When will it stop? When you do the right thing and retire this pompous collection of religious rock songs, that's when.
Nirvana - Nevermind
Yeah, yeah - I realize that this is the one that broke grunge's doors wide open and made Seattle a place to be reckoned with. Are we sure that's good? At best, Nevermind is an overrated Pixies tribute album that was blasted from every stupid dorm room I skulked past in college (instead of the Pixies). Not to mention the fact that alt-rawk stations have bled this album of any magic it might have had by overplaying it. Fair to middling at best, but not the Second Coming. And "Smells Like Teen Spirit" IS the "Stairway to Heaven" of our generation, folks. This is the record you will embarrass your children with.
The Beatles - Let It Be
Too much Paul (the seeds of Wings are evident), not enough John and George (R.I.P.). Maybe it was a good thing they broke up when they did. You know, it's OK to not own every single Beatles album, and you can still streamline your collection by selling this unnecessary final release. I wonder if the syrupy title track and "The Long And Winding Road" contributed to Lennon's primal scream therapy and the recording of Plastic Ono Band?
The Police - Synchronicity
That this album is considered a classic is quite a feat for a collection of songs that Keith Richards deemed suitable for a dentist's waiting room. Certainly, no album dealing with topics such as stalking, psychological abuse, betrayal and silent desperation has ever sounded so homogenized or made less thought-provoking pronouncements. To enjoy Synchronicity is to consider one's self to be socially enlightened without having to dredge up any real empathy.
Lou Reed - Transformer
"Walk on the Wild Side" and "Satellite of Love" should also be copied or purchased through a hits compilation. As for the other songs on Reed's second solo effort, would you spend $15 just to hear lyrics like "Hey you gotta live your life as though you're number one/Yeah, you gotta live yeah your life and make a point of having some fun"?
Miles Davis - Bitches Brew
You fantasize that your friends come over and admire you for having this album don't you? Yeah, too bad you can't freaking stand this shrill, rambling, incoherent mess. Oh, and if you've got The Complete Bitches Brew Sessions, you should probably just give it up and sell your entire collection, you poser.
David Bowie - Hunky Dory
Stale glam rock from a notoriously inconsistent icon. Half the songs here are bloody awful, and the rest are just so-so. Warning: just because an album is re-released with bonus tracks does not necessarily mean it's good. "Andy Warhol" is simply one of the worst songs ever written, and "Kooks" and "The Bewlay Brothers" aren't much better. This record isn't fit to be mentioned in the same breath as The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Mars.
Nick Cave - The Boatman's Call
Just about any post-Birthday Party Cave belongs on this list. Pompous poetics for punks who miss their college lit classes. If someone can argue that the title "Brompton Oratory" means anything more than Cave likes to sound erudite, I'm listening. The music? As hot-aired as the master's musings.
Led Zeppelin - Physical Graffiti
The primary inspiration for This Is Spinal Tap, and that's not a compliment. All the years of Quaaludes and teenage groupies culminated in this plodding, faux-blues double LP. The moronic "Kashmir" is ten minutes of pure torture and is symbolic of the entire affair. Albums like this helped usher in the 70s punk explosion, though, so I guess it's not a total disaster.
Oasis - What's the Story, Morning Glory?
Let the wash of guitars subside for a minute and just listen to the lyrics of Britpop's object d' art. Lots of June-spoon-moon rhyming, eh? So you say. Let this be the day. To sell your copy on Ebay.
Public Enemy - Apocalypse '91 - The Enemy Strikes Black
After Nation of Millions and Fear of a Black Planet, Chuck D. and Flavor Flav found out millions of black and white ears were waiting for the next album. Too bad they knew their audience had grown. Far from testing new ears, each song on Apocalypse panders to expectations for protest and agitprop. No subtleties or true evocations of inner-city life here -- just a variety of easy platitudes and anti-media pieties like "A Letter to the NY Post." Keep it between you and the OpEd page, Chuck.
Pearl Jam - Vs.
"Ed Vedder" says it best himself (courtesy of an Amazon.com reviewer for whom English is not, I suspect, a first language): "When I made this album I can't even begin to tell you how much I was in love with my music. This a work of art culminating from the raw sound of Ten that begins a journey on the unpredictable era that we are in now. Thank you for enjoying my music."
Beck - Midnite Vultures
Wow, he sounds like Rick James and Prince too -- so cool! He really "wears his influences on his sleeve," doesn't he? Yeah! Great lyrics -- very postmodern! He really "has his tongue firmly planted in his cheek" doesn't he? You should know that Beck is the Christina Aguilera of the indie set -- sell this piece of shit while you still can.
Fugazi - 13 Songs
Okay, Ian, we get it - don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do? Oh yeah, that's right, BE A BORING PREACHY MOTHERFUCKER. Get drunk and use this one as your beer coaster.
The Who - Tommy
A couple of decent songs wrapped around a lot of filler. You know, there was a time when big operatic themes and bombast were pretty cool. That time was last century.
Tom Waits - Mule Variations
Maybe this is cutting-edge for VH-1, but we know better because we have Rain Dogs and Swordfishtrombones, and this is an almost song-by-song remake of the two, and thus unnecessary. I hate to even ask this, but has Tom Waits run out of ideas? Sell this disappointment and free up a space on your shelf.
Nine Inch Nails - Pretty Hate Machine
Since you've updated your collection with Marilyn Manson albums, are you really going to pull this one out? And if so, are you also going to put onyour sister's old black tights that you ripped full of holes just to wear to the concert back in 1995? Probably not, because by the time the second song is over, you will be ill with memories of Doc Martens and bad dye jobs.
Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique
People sometimes ask me, "President Bush, why are you always railing against the Beastie Boys?" Well, let me tell you -- they freaking suck. To the numerous victims of an unwarranted and pre-mature Beastie Boys nostalgia, I must point out that their delivery (itself lifted from aging raps) has not changed an iota since the release of this much-ballyhooed 1989 release. Subtract out the know-it-all frat boy "humor" and borrowed kitsch and you got zilch. Many tap Paul's Boutique as their masterpiece, which is simply false -- only the Dust Brothers' production lifts the album out of the trash heap. Until Paul's Boutique is properly relabeled and filed under "Dust Brothers" at record stores, removing this album from your collection is an ethical imperative. If you do not, the terrorists have already won.
U2 - Zooropa

After capably adding techno touches to the masterful Achtung Baby, U2 spent the rest of the '90s vainly chasing after the muses of trip-hop, acid jazz and rave. Although Zooropa was deemed challenging and ahead of its time by fans who listened to nothing but anthem-rock, time has proven tracks like "Stay," "Daddy's Gonna Pay for Your Crashed Car" and "Dirty Day" to be mediocre songs that were considered cool because they sounded weird.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik
These "funksters" are a testament to the triumph of style over substance in modern music. Once you get past the tattoos, piercings, and tube socks on their cocks, the Chili Peppers were just another over-hyped L.A. band. Don't accept anything less than 50 cents when you sell this disc at your used record store. Give it away give it away give it away now.
Macy Gray - On How Life Is
They say this was a real tour de force. Nu-Soul, they call it. Right, and she sounds like Nina Simone and Sly Stone. Geez people, you'd think There's a Riot Goin' On was out of print. This fluff will have the longevity of a fruit fly.
White Stripes - White Blood Cells
I know that they're absolutely adorable, they may or may not be siblings (how mysterious!), and they turn down million-dollar Gap ads, but is anyone tired of The White Stripes yet? I guess indie rock hipsters are as starved for something seemingly new as the general public is, though I thought we already went through this bluesy punk thing in the early-90s with the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. Now that it's 2002, you can safely close the books on The White Stripes (and The Strokes) without losing your indie cred.
Chemical Bothers - Dig Your Own Hole
This seminal "big beat" album panders to your worst impulses. You bought it because you like rock and would like hip hop if it weren't for all the rapping that tends to accompany it. So the Chemical Brothers have obliged with a slickly-produced rock album with hip hop beats, sans inscrutable rhyming jabber. Shame on you.
Flaming Lips - The Soft Bulletin
Maybe in this band's hometown of Oklahoma City folks think it would be cool if Led Zeppelin and Yes joined forces to back Neil Young on "A Man Needs A Maid." Well, folks in most other parts think the idea of Jimmy Page and Rick Wakeman playing together while Young warbles away would sound like a monstrosity. And trying to approximate the sound of this fantasy jam is just sad. As sad and unlistenable as this album.
Jefferson Airplane - Surrealistic Pillow
Gosh - do I even need to explain this one? LSD-addled San Francisco hippies form a rock band, sing about Alice In Wonderland and other "groovy" subjects, and we're still paying the price on FM radio and in Vietnam War movies. This album is a total bummer, man.
Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty
Hey gramps, gimme that microphone. This shit really takes the cake. I bet you think that owning this "rap" album makes you feel "well-rounded" or "worldly" or something.
Prince - Emancipation
Quit buying every single stupid Prince release! Don't you know he fell off in like '89? You bought this 3-CD set because you thought that the sheer number of songs guaranteed a few keepers. You were wrong.
John Coltrane - Giant Steps
Most jazz created after the Big Band era is essentially musical masturbation (and like masturbation, if you must do it, you should do it in private!). It's self-indulgent noodling interesting only to the person playing it, a few fetishists, and lots of pseudo-intellectuals and wannabe hipsters who have to pretend to like it because it's "cool." Like porno, it's dismissive of and degrading to both the performer and the viewer. People who watch porno do so alone for a reason... it's embarrassing. Some pornos are glossier and prettier than others, and Coltrane may be the John Holmes of jazz, but porno is still porno, and Giant Steps is still a tedious, embarrassing, snoozer of an album.
Frank Zappa & The Mothers of Invention - We're Only In It For The Money
While skewering hippies is certainly cool, and Zappa's moral character is above reproach, this whole enterprise reeks of that scourge known as jazz fusion. It also sounds remarkably like the acid-rock they're supposedly ridiculing. Don't believe the critical hype.
Wilco - Being There
I will never understand how this scattered, slipshod mess was praised so loudly, while Son Volt continues to fly under the radar. While A.M. was enjoyable, though lightweight, Being There just serves to prove that Jay Farrar was the Lennon to Jeff Tweedy's McCartney.
Morrissey - ALL RECORDINGS
Now that I'm older and pretty sure I'm heterosexual, my Morrissey albums just don't get much play, except when I'm feeling sorry for myself - then there's nothing sweeter than the croon of the coiffured one. I remember when Kurt Cobain killed himself, Morrissey was quoted as saying he wondered if he would have had the courage to do that. Well, we can always wish.
Pulp Fiction - Original Soundtrack
It was inevitable to have this in '94, but now you're over the cheeky Neil Diamond cover, you've heard "Miserlou" 800 times, and you've bought Al Green's Greatest Hits. It's time to get on with your life, isn't it?
The Police - Zenyatta Mondatta
To paraphrase: "T-Toss-toss-toss, This out-out-out/That's all I have to say to you." Keep Outlandos d'Amour and Regatta de Blanc. Everything else is overwhelmed by the shallow ball of ego that is Sting.
The Kinks - Arthur - Or the Decline and Fall of the British Empire
It's easy to romanticize the Kinks as artistes victimized by the trendiness of '60s rock. But those who think this 1969 concept album about dying British values should have been as popular as Tommy should listen again. Ray Davies makes his point in each song by the end of the first verse and... then makes the point a couple more times. All this while the band hides their uninspired playing behind a half-assed horn section. "Victoria" and "Shangri La" are the best of this lot and can be found on The Kink Kronikles.
Jane's Addiction - Nothing's Shocking
Self-indulgent, derivative pap from the most overrated so-called "alternative" band. "Hey guys, are we metal, goth, or art-school?" These poseurs are neither shocking nor original.
Helmet - Meantime
Despite the fact that Helmet has its share of imitators these days, they're hardly ready for Hall of Fame induction. At the time, they seemed like Fugazi's dark, pissed off, mysterious cousin that...ya know...rocked. Now, it just sounds militant and irrelevant. Haven't put it on for years.
Smashing Pumpkins - Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness
For those who raved over this post-grunge magnum opus six years ago, just reading the title should make you cringe. The "Dawn to Dusk"/"Twilight to Starlight" themes should make you wince. Lines like "the world is a vampire" should make you avert your eyes. Billy Corgan's presumption that Mellon Collie would be The Wall of the '90s should make you trade this for anything else that includes "1979."
Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation
Has anyone actually listened to this album all the way through, I mean without fast forwarding through "The Sprawl" or skipping over "Rain King" or wishing even "Teen Age Riot" was just a little bit shorter? Okay, so "Total Trash" is still one of SY's best songs, maybe because for a moment the art-symphonic pretensions are put aside (I won't even get into the SYR collaborations - yawn) and the band's content to rock a recognizable melody.
Radiohead - I Might be Wrong: Live Recordings/Built To Spill - Live
Both of these bands are practically fellated by critics and fans alike, as if there's something new and exciting happening in their studio work. One is a Neil Young retread, and the other is a Neil Young ripoff. People, people: classic rock is not dead, just getting plastic surgery. Meanwhile, both bands release live albums that are just chaff to fulfill their contract obligations cheaply. All live albums suck, and these are no exception.
Hole - Live Through This
Part of me wanted to leave this blank, because the band and album's legacy speak for themselves. Courtney Love is famous for freaking dead rock stars and stealing things that don't belong to her. She is not talentless, however: she's got a gift for self-promotion that makes one want to break shit. Like her freaking records, for instance. The "music" Hole makes is complete and utter crap. On the upside, nice tits, honey.
Tori Amos - Under the Pink
If I have to hear one more time about how, even though I don't like her music, I should at least be impressed with her [fill in musical ability here]. Frankly, I don't feel I have to and you shouldn't be made to feel that way either! It's okay to not like this album or any of her music, trust me.
Arrested Development - 3 Years, 5 Months, & 2 Days In The Life Of...
This is non-threatening rap-lite for sensitive white liberals who want to "keep it real" and experience hip-hop safely. Some used record stores will still pay $3.00 to take this off your hands, so what are you waiting for?
No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom
Ska? No, not ska. Pop. Feminist? No, not feminist. Victimist. Blonde? No, not blonde. Bleach. Good? No, not good. Bad.
Love and Rockets - Earth, Sun, Moon
This album asks the musical question: Are we deep if we play acoustic guitars and record in weird echoey voices? Thanks for playing, boys.
Ben Folds Five - Whatever and Ever, Amen
You KNOW you own this. Again, he's not deep just because he plays the piano, and bitterness doesn't necessarily make good music.
Elvis Presley - From Elvis In Memphis
Pre-cursor to the 1970s Las Vegas lounge-act Elvis, this is cheesy adult pop for your parents. Why is this 1969 "comeback" touted as the greatest Elvis album ever? Just buy The Sun Sessions and send this hunk of burnin' love back to Graceland.
Rancid - And Out Come The Wolves
Don't let the mohawks and combat boots fool you, kids - these chumps are the Black Crowes of "punk," aided and abetted by the loathsome Epitaph label. Buy The Specials and The Clash and give this CD a good old-fashioned curb-stomping.
Green Day - Dookie
In the aftermath of Nirvana's demise, this band came along and made "alternative" rock fun again for the kids. I'd like to believe that Green Day's success led its fans to discover the The Buzzcocks and The Jam, the two bands from which Green Day unabashedly took its sound, but I suspect not. Dookie is a dated piece of pop culture detritus and belongs in the Museum of Teen Fads, not on your CD shelf.
Rush - Moving Pictures
If it looks like prog rock and smells like prog rock, it's prog rock. This is not, I repeat, NOT a viable alternative to Yes, E.L.P., and all the other wankers from that bloated 70s scene. Is there anything more grating than Geddy Lee's shrill vocals? Add the smug instrumental chops, and you've got an unfortunate cultural phenomenon that still seems to be going strong.
Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon
Those who were raised on this album have put it in long term storage since it became a resurrected hit on campus and could be heard blaring from every stupid dorm room in between "Fly Like an Eagle" and "Margaritaville," which resulted in sickness, depression, and even academic failure for those who would rather remember Floyd as a childhood soundtrack, but were then no longer able.
Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, Surfacing
You get to keep ONE. Which one? Flip a coin. It won't make any difference.
Ani DiFranco - Self-titled/Puddle Dive/Not So Soft
These CDs attest to why developing artists don't usually release albums. Ani was too stubborn to spare us. Two decent songs from three cds is a sad ratio.
Paula Cole - This Fire
Ah, step by grueling step through Paula's therapy sessions. She's angry! She's repressed. She's angry! She's happy. She's outraged...(see track listing for sense of closure).
U2 - War
"We do make, and we will continue to make, soul music. Soul music is when you
bring what's on the inside to the outside." (Bono, 1983) --Actually, defecating is when you bring what's on the inside to the outside, Mr. MacPhisto. Well done with 1983's War.
Gin Blossoms - New Miserable Experience
In 1992, college dorms and fraternities were drowning in this whiny, self-absorbed power pop. A decade later finds this aural melodrama aging quite miserably.
Counting Crows - August and Everything After
Start with stale '70s pop-rock formula, reheat in early '90s crock pot, stir in "moody" MTV videos and pour out over-ripe moneymaker CD slop.
Offspring - Smash
Do you really need to be told to get rid of this album? To label these schmucks as punk is an insult to all the actual punk bands past and present. This shit was THE soundtrack to all those slammin' fraternity parties back in 1994. The Delta Tau brothers couldn't get enough of that "keep 'em separated" song (hell, they learned how to "mosh" to this band!), but you've had enough, and so have I. This horse manure isn't "pretty fly for a white guy," or any other guy for that matter.
The Cult - Electric
This album, and band, was laughable even back in those heady butt-rock days of the late-80s. While aping Zeppelin isn't reason enough to dismiss a band entirely, The Cult adds a Doors-like pretension to the equation, resulting in a completely derivative album. Just look at the picture of these wankers on the album's front cover if you have any doubts about Electric's merit.
The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band
Nearly killing rock and roll in the name of 'psychedelia' by adding strings and excessive production. You pretentious Limeys, Sinatra had been doing the same thing for years!!
Erykah Badu - Mama's Gun
Soul has one of the deepest and most compelling back catalogs of any genre, which sets the bar dauntingly high for the new soul kids on the block. Baduizm's (relative) originality and welcome hip hop accents made it one of the few keepers among "Nu Soul" releases. Badu's second album, Mama's Gun, is comparatively lackluster, if more coherent and refined. Use the proceeds of this sale to buy the 12-inch of "Bag Lady," which is better than the album version.
Dinosaur Jr. - You're Living All Over Me
What is the big freaking deal with this album? Should we really be celebrating the return of the 1970s wanky guitar solo to indie rock? (don't even get me started on Built to Spill) Murky production, marble-mouthed vocals from J. Mascis surely you grew out of this one years ago, but in case you forgot to do so, this is just a gentle reminder to purge this and all Dinosaur Jr. albums from your collection at once.
Cat Stevens - Footsteps in the Dark
How many times do you have to watch Harold and Maude before you get the not-so-deep message? This album makes me happy he converted.
The Wallflowers - Self-titled
If not for Jakob's last name, this album would be languishing in the back bins with lesser-known male pop singer/songwriters like Freedy Johnston, David Gray, Jude Cole, Lloyd Cole, and others more deserving.
R.E.M. - Out of Time
It's sad to see an old favorite finally cross over into Adult Contemporary territory. Long-time fans suspected something was awry with R.E.M.'s previous LP, the major label debut Green, but this sickly sweet follow up still dealt a major blow to college radio and discerning music fans everywhere. How can you manage to sit through the opening track, "Radio Song," without dying from embarrassment? I guess Michael Stipe wanted to show he's down with KRS-ONE since Sonic Youth got Chuck D. to guest on THEIR album the previous year. R.E.M. even manages to make KRS sound flat, and that's no small feat.
The Presidents of the United States of America - Self-titled
Look, just because they're not selling anything with these jingles doesn't make them ARTISTS.
Grateful Dead - ALL RECORDINGS
One of my favorite bumper stickers reads, "Jerry's dead, The Grateful Dead suck, get a life." When clean and sober individuals with a sense of pitch listen to any Dead recording, they will be immediately struck by the fact that everyone in the band plays out of tune. Unless you're still dropping acid weekly and pulling out your remastered copies of Workingman's Dead and American Beauty while you're tripping, it's time you heeded the words of my favorite bumper sticker.
Pink - Missundaztood
Oh come on! Really now. Why should this one NOT be on the list? Give me one good reason, and I'll take it off! Eh? See?! There are none. While a couple of the songs on here are jiggy, once you've heard them for the third time, you're ready to cock your gun and shoot someone. And those are the GOOD songs.
Bob Marley & the Wailers - Legend
While there's nothing inherently wrong with Bob Marley or the song selection on this greatest hits collection, there is something wrong with the omnipresence of this CD. It is the Hotel California or "Stairway to Heaven" of the reggae world, which means that its fans have ruined the album for everyone, including you, by playing it into the ground. Every Birkenstock-wearing, hackey-sack-playing, REI-shopping bastard in the whole world has played this disc at every party, gathering, and road trip in the history of the world, and I for one have had enough. Now it's my turn to get up and stand up for MY rights. If you don't remove this from your collection, I will.
Madonna - The Immaculate Collection
This is NOT the immaculate collection. All of her good stuff was produced AFTER this sampling of songs was collected. Even with the big resurgence of popular 80s hits back on the airwaves, her best stuff is definitely post-80s. That's my vote, and I'm stickin' to it!
Bad Brains - Rock For Light
It's difficult for me to say this, but Bad Brains kind of sucks. I've always wanted to like this group a lot the idea of black Rastafarians from Washington D.C. pumping out hardcore punk is a very intriguing one. The problem, as this album demonstrates, is that orthodox hardcore doesn't stand the test of time very well. Every song is two minutes long, has very little melody, features mediocre songwriting, and contains very little in the way of dynamics. The only good songs on the album are the reggae tracks, frankly, and you can find better practitioners of reggae elsewhere.
Sting - Ten Summoner's Tales
Is anybody else as sick of Sting as I am? I don't understand how someone can go from being totally original, starting out in punk and rock, transitioning to jazz, and then to absolute CRAP pop? What the hell? Next he'll be doing country-western, and I ain't buyin' it.
Sublime - Self-titled
"What I Got's" a frightening frat-house flashback every time I hear this freaking album. Gap khaki chinos, Abercrombie pull-overs, white collegiate ball caps, shivering sorority chicks, Lycra t-shirts, midriff, the Liquor Control Board, Jessica Phillips, cheese, the top bunk. Did I mention Everclear?
Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes
This album that sounded so naughty and cool back when you were 17 now just sounds really embarrassing. Yeesh.
INXS - Listen Like Thieves
Michael Hutchence and his mates were basically in the same tier of rock music as Mr. Mister and the Hooters, except with a very dangerous edge. While this album can have a black hole-like nostalgic pull, I urge you to listen to it with friends. After the initial nods of recognition at "What You Need" and "Listen Like Thieves" pass, requests for another selection will rightly follow. Sweep aside fond memories -- INXS is acknowledged by the State of California to be associated with cancer in lab rats.
The Roots - Things Fall Apart
Aside from the Black Thought/Mos Def collaboration on "Double Trouble," this critical darling is frankly unremarkable among hip hop releases. The novelty of having live, competent musicians playing behind a rapper shouldn't leave anybody in a lather, but unfortunately it has. Subtract out the live musicians and you've got a third-rate MC in Black Thought. Take him out of the equation and all that remains is a funk band with a painfully homogenous sound.
The Prodigy - Music for the Jilted Generation
The album that married the quasi-anonymous, "underground" culture of techno to rock's pathetic culture of celebrity. MTV videos with dancers and Johnny Lydon lookalikes only served to make the music tedious. Further, The Prodigy gets extra removal points for being a pioneer of the combination of rapping and the Big Guitar Sound and can be at least partly blamed for the pallid rock/rap wasteland that is pop music these days.
Beastie Boys - Check Your Head/Ill Communication
The Beastie Boys' third album saw their only innovations: some live instrumentation and distorted vocals! What followed was a renaissance in music. What also followed was Ill Communication, which sported, of all things, live instrumentation, distorted vocals and some chanting monks. Just as the Chinese suppression of Tibet's national aspirations must end, so must the Beastie Boys' unwarranted grip on the public imagination.
The Doors - The Best of the Doors
Geez, this crap has been so played out through my lifetime that I'm surprised it's not on freaking grocery store muzak by now! Even the "classic rock" stations don't play it anymore. And those annoying NPR interviews
with Ray Manzarek at the piano don't help it one bit.
Alicia Keys - Songs in A Minor
Anybody who sings "A real woman/knows a real man/always comes first," and means it, needs a good pummeling. And we already have Prince to do the Prince songs for us. I'd choose the Artist over the Non-Artist any day.
The Wu Tang Clan - The W
Since the used CD bins are already brimming with this disaster of an album, you probably had better send it out with the trash. Though opinions vary as to which, there is said to be one good song on this album. It is not, however, the lead single, "Gravel Pit," whose sampled hook Cypress Hill had used in 1991. Ah for the days, long passed, when a new Wu Tang release sent a buzz through the hip hop-loving land. Don't even think of buying Iron Flag, the new Wu joint.
Kool Keith - Black Elvis
When such gems as the Ultramagnetic MCs albums, Octagon, and Sex Style came out, legions of kiddies were prepared to become Kool Keith completists. Unfortunately, this album marks the point when Kool Keith's ideas finally ran dry. Every release since has been unspeakably bland and/or offputtingly personal (ten songs about how shitty the record industry is, anyone?). It's a shame.