"The Ol' Bait and Click: Devices Meant to Reassure Online Buyers
Are Often Used to Swindle Them
," by Alan Sipress, The Washington Post
March 16, 2007, Page D01 ---
The eBay vendor had a glowing record -- more
than 900 successful sales, with only a single complaint amid a long
series of positive testimonials from customers. So when a Georgia bidder
won the seller's auction for an Olympus digital camera in January, there
seemed little reason to worry about dispatching almost $700 into
But the camera never arrived.
"I don't think I will ever buy anything over
the Internet again," the conned bidder lamented in a posting on an eBay
discussion board. "I am not a wealthy person, had saved long and hard
for this camera for my business, and don't know when, or IF EVER I will
see my $700 again."
Ever since the early days of the Internet, Web
sites have struggled to find ways of reassuring users that a stranger
could be as honest as a well-known local merchant, as knowledgeable as a
respected teacher or as insightful as a wise grandparent. With Internet
commerce now estimated to exceed $100 billion a year and greater numbers
of people turning to the Internet for products, advice and love, Web
sites are crafting more elaborate rating and feedback systems --
reputation monitors of sorts -- to help people evaluate whom they can
trust. But the cheats have also noticed the unprecedented chance for
ill-gotten gains. This has set off a high-stakes game of cat and mouse
as Web sites spend more time and money to secure their systems against
those trying to game them.
"We are increasingly living in a mobile,
virtual world," said Chrysanthos Dellarocas, a professor of information
systems at the University of Maryland business school. "To retain some
form of social fabric in this world, we need some reputation mechanism."
One of the best-known reputation systems is the
one used by Amazon.com, which provides user-written reviews of the books
and it sells and then allows other users to rate the reviewers.
Slashdot, a popular technology and current affairs Web site, developed
what it calls a "karma" system for evaluating contributors. One of
Yahoo's fast-growing features, Yahoo Answers, now boasts 75 million
users who ask and answer each other's online questions about nearly any
subject, with greater weight accorded to those who earn expert ratings
from other users.
"Reputation is key to it all," said Bradley
Horowitz, Yahoo's vice president of product strategy.
EBay established its position as the Web's
premier auctioneer in part by pioneering a system to allow buyers and
sellers to rate each other and comment on the quality of their
"It has been essential for eBay's success. It
increased trust in the marketplace and created a community," eBay chief
executive Meg Whitman said in an interview.
But users have repeatedly found ways to inflate
or wholly fabricate their reputations. The online encyclopedia,
Wikipedia, was thrown into turmoil late last month after users learned
that one of the site's major editors was not a tenured university
religion professor as he claimed in his online profile but a 24-year-old
college dropout. At Amazon, a computer glitch three years ago
inadvertently exposed the real names of reviewers writing under
pseudonyms. Some turned out not to be disinterested literary judges but
authors giving their own books glowing reviews to boost sales.
The scams take countless and ever more
ingenious forms. These include intimidating other users who give
negative ratings by threatening to retaliate with negative feedback of
their own. Some con artists also create false secondary accounts, known
as "sock puppets," that a cheat can use to give himself fake positive
feedback. It also includes piling up legitimate positive reviews and
then closing in for the kill as an eBay seller from New Jersey called "malkilots"
did to nearly three dozen would-be camera buyers, including the bidder
That scheme -- according to feedback,
discussion boards and auction descriptions on the eBay site -- went down
like this: Malkilots built a sterling track record by selling memory
cards for digital cameras for as little as $20 each. The vender sold
them by the hundreds, delivering them as promised and accumulating page
after page of positive feedback from satisfied customers.
Then, in late January, malkilots switched to
offering the cameras themselves, which regularly fetched more than $650.
In one auction, the Georgia bidder -- who communicated and did business
only under a user name and did not respond to e-mails -- put in the
highest of 37 offers for an Olympus SLR professional camera, paying for
it online. Instead of receiving the camera, the buyer got a cheap camera
"I had checked out the seller, all positive
feedback going back several years," the buyer wrote. "What I didn't
check out was WHAT kind of item that feedback was for."
Other successful bidders reported they also got
cheap bags instead of cameras -- if they got anything at all. With
losses totaling about $25,000, the bidders complained to eBay, which
shut down the vendor's account. Negative feedback streamed into the site
calling malkilots a fraud.
EBay did not return calls requesting comment on
Continued in article
I've never purchased anything on eBay. But I do almost all my shopping
(even grocery shopping) on Amazon these days. I cannot say enough good
things about the product selections, prices, and service. I have an Amazon
Visa for such purposes that gives me lower prices, and I often get free
shipping. For example, Erika needed an extra-wide wheel chair because of her
brace. At the moment we use a wheel chair to carry her up and down the front
porch steps. Her Boston doctor wrote a prescription for temporary rental of
the chair, but the price was about $120 per week. I purchased a great one
through Amazon for $138 that included free shipping. The new high quality
chair was here in the boonies in less than five days.
Bob Jensen's threads on how to avoid being taken on eBay if you shop
on eBay ---
Bob Jensen's threads on consumer fraud are at
"The Ol' Scientist Bait and Switch Trick: Global Warming
The British Broadcasting Corporation
(BBC) has produced a devastating documentary
titled "The Great Global Warming Swindle." It has apparently not been
broadcast by any of the networks in the U.S. But, fortunately, it is
available on the Internet. Distinguished scientists specializing in climate
and climate-related fields talk in plain English and present readily
understood graphs showing what a crock the current global warming hysteria
is. These include scientists from MIT and top-tier universities in a number
of countries. Some of these are scientists whose names were paraded on some
of the global warming publications that are being promoted in the media --
but who state plainly that they neither wrote those publications nor
approved them. One scientist threatened to sue unless his name was removed.
Thomas Sowell, "Global Warming: Just Another Hysterical Crusade," IBD
Editorials, March 15, 2007 ---
"Tinkering with Earth's climate to stop global warming raises new risks,
warn scientists," MIT's Technology Review, March 18, 2007 ---
Search for bin Laden's Hideout on Google Earth!
Where in the world is Osama bin Laden? Uh ... try
checking Google Earth. After Google recently updated its satellite images of
parts of the Afghanistan-Pakistan border, much of the region still looked
blotchy — the kind of low resolution that persists in coverage of, say,
upstate New York. But several small squares (they stand out as off-color
patches from 680 miles up) suddenly became as detailed as the images of
Manhattan. These sectors happen to be precisely where the US government has
been hunting for bin Laden and his deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri.
"Search for bin Laden at Home!" Wired Magazine, March 2007 ---
The Google Earth link is at
Bob Jensen's search helpers are at
Note to College Presidents: We've got kickback ethics problems
right here in River City!
"Lenders Pay Universities to Influence Loan Choice," by Jonathan
D. Glater, The New York Times, March 16, 2007 ---
Dozens of colleges and universities across the
country have accepted a variety of financial incentives from student
loan companies to steer student business their way, Attorney General
Andrew M. Cuomo of New York announced yesterday.
The deals include cash payments based on loan
volume, donations of computers, expense-paid trips to resorts for
financial aid officers and even running call centers on behalf of
colleges to field students’ questions about financial aid.
“We have found that these school-lender
relationships are often highly tainted with conflicts of interest,” Mr.
Cuomo said. “These school-lender relationships are often for the benefit
of the schools at the expense of the student, with financial incentives
to the schools that are often undisclosed.”
Continued in article
Appearance Versus Reality of Trustee/School Kickbacks
One of the most common reality is that trustees who run portfolio
investment firms become trustees to steer a portion of the school's
endowment to their companies. The connections can be direct or extremely
All to often members of the boards of trustees of colleges and school
boards of K-12 schools serve for business reasons (typically to steer
business their way) rather than for purposes of ethically guiding the
institutions. Sometimes these kickbacks are highly illegal. Sometimes they
are not illegal but they are unethical and are frowned upon if details are
exposed to the public. For example, institutions commonly, albeit secretly,
promote insurance, legal, personal finance, computer, or travel business of
a trustee. These arrangements sometimes entail questionable and unmentioned
kickbacks such as a kickback to the school for every trip booked with a
trustee's travel agency or every insurance policy written with an employee,
student, or alumnus. One of the more subtle examples is where a school or
alumni association promotes a credit card without revealing that the school
gets a kickback every time the user makes a payment to the credit card
company. Often these kickback arrangements are established without a trustee
being involved, but all too often a trustee has guided the school into such
Stanford University paid more than $2 million in
legal fees to a firm headed by a Stanford trustee, The San Francisco
Chronicle reported. While Stanford defended the arrangement and it is not
illegal, it is the type of apparent conflict of interest that for-profit
companies increasingly try to avoid, the newspaper reported.
Inside Higher Ed, July 3, 2006 ---
Are conflicts of interest and kickbacks among college "trustees" the
norm or the exception?
But Adelphi’s trustees had never voted on his
compensation; only a small committee even knew the details. Adelphi even
concealed the largesse from the Internal Revenue Service for five years,
incurring an $11,500 fine. The Regents also found conflicts of interest
involving two trustees, including the former board chairwoman. Her insurance
company was found to have gotten $1.2 million in fees for handling Adelphi’s
"University Enjoys a Renaissance After 90’s Strife," by Bruce Lambert,
The New York Times, September 5, 2006 ---
Bob Jensen's fraud updates are at
Bob Jensen's threads on higher education controversies are at
How can you ruin a student's career and maybe her/his life on a discussion
Trash talk on AutoAdmit (which bills itself at "The most prestigious college
discussion board in the world ") ---
"Trash Talk: Some lawyers-to-be should exercise their right to
remain silent," by Elizabeth Wurtzel, The Wall Street Journal, March
19, 2007 ---
It's hard out there for a law student. All the
stuff to stumble through on the way to that J.D.: torts, property,
contracts, evidence, civil procedure, AutoAdmit.
That last item is a new development: a Web site
of postings for law schools prestigious and otherwise, where students
blab about whatever. An awful lot of it is about other students, most of
it mean-spirited. This is all extremely weird for those of us born
before the Carter administration, who tend to assume that scrutiny about
breast implants--there was a whole thread of discussion devoted to
whether one Ms. J.D.-to-be was silicone-enhanced--is reserved for
celebrities. The flat, affectless sexual bravado of the trash-talk on
AutoAdmit is also a bit of a shock, coming from allegedly intelligent
The AutoAdmitters were happily going about
their gossip, yakking away like yentas pinning laundry on the
clothesline, until sometime last week. That's when the Washington Post
ran a front-page story about some young women here at Yale Law School
whose careers--if not their lives--had been ruined by some salacious
postings. The descriptions of them--sluts and whores--and the
suggestions about what might be done to them--rape and sodomy--were
showing up on Google searches of their names, and had prevented at least
one of them from securing employment.
Since then, Dean Elena Kagan at Harvard Law
School and Dean Harold Koh here at Yale have sent out open letters,
condemning the nasty communications. We've had speak-outs and write-ins,
organized blue-ribbon panels and worn red outfits for solidarity.
There's talk of legal remedies and media campaigns. Mostly, the young
women would simply like the offending postings removed from the bulletin
board. This is not likely to happen. Not because it shouldn't--of course
it should. But because once again, for about the 80th time in my memory
and for at least the 80,000th time in the life of this country, here is
an issue in which the right to free speech--as opposed to the need for
everyone to just shut up--is going to overwhelm us all.
Cybertalk is about as governable as Iraq, and
the First Amendment allows for most other expression, making the U.S. a
very loud place. For every interest group that says it's being silenced,
for all the people who think they're not permitted to talk back to
power, there are the real rest of us for whom the din is deafening. The
firstness of the First Amendment trumps everything that competes with
it. This is particularly so if you're going to take your case as high as
the Supreme Court, which has struck down rape shield laws and permitted
pictures that resemble kiddie porn--in the name of First Amendment
freedom. For all Congress's threats to pass a bill banning the burning
of the American flag, even Justice Antonin Scalia has voted for the
right to set Old Glory ablaze, because the First Amendment guarantees
it. Free expression is an issue that everyone can agree on:
old-fashioned conservative textualists, because it's in the
Constitution, and new-fangled liberal interpreters, because, well, it's
in the Constitution. The Federalist Society and the ACLU all believe the
same thing: the First Amendment means that anyone can say just about
And really, short of that old
chestnut--screaming "Fire!" on the main floor of Bloomingdale's--there's
not a whole lot you can't say in public. Including the word "faggot," as
we recently found out. Social norms may force you to go to rehab for
your stupidity, but the law can't touch you at all. Likewise, there's
not much that cannot be said about you. "Exposure of the self to others
in varying degrees is a concomitant of life in a civilized society,"
opined the Supreme Court in 1967. This was decades before "Cops," in the
century before YouTube.
In such a world, what to do about AutoAdmit? To
start with, pray for mercy, because based on the content of its
postings, the future of jurisprudence does not look good. Having done
that, plead for civility. Just because we can say anything, does that
mean we must say everything? While I could never advocate censorship, I
would certainly ask for sensitivity. We all have to live in this world,
all seven billion of us, brushing closer and closer together, and
bristling in this claustrophobia. Maybe we ought to be slightly more
careful before we say whatever it is we feel compelled to freely
express. Maybe we ought to stop, have a hesitation, before pressing the
Continued in article
Bob Jensen's threads on higher education controversies are at
Questions of Accounting and Accountability for Shrine Charities
"In Shriner Spending, a Blurry Line of Giving," by Stephanie Strom,
The New York Times, March 19, 2007 ---
But his faith was shaken when he joined the
leadership of the Suez Shriners in San Angelo, one of 191 temples
affiliated with the order. He found that much of the money collected to
support the hospitals was commingled with money used for liquor, parties
and members’ travel to Shrine events. The Shrine’s national auditor
largely confirmed his findings, but not before Mr. Goline was forced out
His experience is not unique. An examination by
The New York Times of Shrine records and minutes of Shrine meetings and
interviews with current and former Shrine officials painted a picture of
lax accounting procedures and oversight under which money earmarked for
the hospitals instead financed temple activities.
Continued in article
Bob Jensen's fraud updates are at
"A Fresh Start for the Internet: Stanford University researchers
aren't just dreaming of a new Internet: they're building it" by Rachel
Ross, MIT's Technology Review, March 19, 2007 ---
Researchers at Stanford University are on a
mission to completely revamp the Internet. Plans for their multipart
program, called the Clean Slate Design for the Internet, will be
presented to the public this Wednesday at the school's annual Computer
Forum. Ultimately, the researchers hope to make the Internet safer, more
transparent, and more reliable by reconsidering both private and public
Ten years ago, some researchers thought the
Internet would be routinely used for all kinds of essential services,
from remote surgery to even air-traffic control. "To think of that today
is kind of laughable," says Nick McKeown, an associate professor of
electrical engineering and computer science at Stanford and leader of
the Clean Slate project. "If air-traffic control was carried on the
Internet, I, for one, wouldn't fly."
The Internet may have revolutionized society,
but McKeown points out that there are still some basic things it doesn't
do well. There's no reliable way of knowing whom data comes from, for
example, because the Internet was designed in a way that makes it
"ridiculously easy" to fake any information's origin, McKeown says. It
would be much easier to eliminate unsolicited e-mail messages if the
sender could be verified because spammers could be quickly identified
The intent of data can also be masked. Data
packets that might look as though they were sent for a legitimate
purpose could actually be intended to damage the network by spreading
viruses or searching for secret information. When the Internet was first
designed, "it was assumed that everyone would be well behaved, but we're
obviously in an era now where we can't make that assumption," McKeown
To address these and other issues, Clean Slate
researchers are working in small teams on separate projects. One team is
tackling corporate network security issues by turning the current model
on its head and developing a 400-user wireless network called Ethane.
Most corporate computer networks currently have
a firewall at the outer edge of the network to protect it. But machines
within the corporate network are free to communicate with one another.
"That shouldn't be the case," says David Mazieres, assistant professor
of computer science at Stanford and member of the Ethane development
team, in part because the current model is a "big pain" to maintain.
McKeown says there should be an easy way, for
example, to send all of the traffic from computers without the latest
security patches installed and filter it through an intrusion detection
device, so that viruses don't spread within the corporate network. "But
there's no way of doing that now," he says.
Instead of letting all computers within the
corporate network communicate freely, Ethane is designed so that
communication privileges within the corporate network have to be
explicitly set; that way, only those activities deemed safe are
permitted. "With hindsight, it's a very obvious thing to do," McKeown
Vista: Slow And Dangerous
The security program is so annoying you're likely
to turn it off.
Stephen H. Wildstrom, "Vista: Slow And Dangerous," Business Week,
March 26, 2007 ---
When I write a column, I almost never feel I
have had enough time using the product under review. Even in the rare
instance in which deadlines aren't bearing down, I often realize later
on that I've missed a fair amount. In the case of Microsoft's (MSFT )
Windows Vista, flaws that I thought would grow less annoying with
extended use have actually become more troublesome.
Most of the time I spent testing Vista was with
sluggish pre-release versions. I expected things to improve when I ran
the finished software on PCs configured for the new Windows version. I
now realize that Vista really is slow unless you throw a lot of hardware
at it. Microsoft claims it will run with 512 megabytes of memory. I had
recommended a minimum of a gigabyte, but 2 GB is more like it if you
want snappy performance. This is especially true if you're also running
resource-hungry Microsoft Office 2007.
The most exasperating thing about Vista,
though, is the security feature called User Account Control. UAC,
satirized in an Apple (AAPL ) ad as a security guy who constantly
interrupts a conversation, appears as a pop-up asking permission before
Windows will do a number of things: change system settings, install
programs, or update antivirus software. UAC may well be necessary to
block malicious programs from secretly installing themselves or
hijacking your browser settings. But Microsoft has designed it to drive
A RECENT EXPERIENCE DEMONSTRATES what I mean. I
was working away when Windows OneCare, Microsoft's extra-cost security
program, suddenly popped open a window asking me if it should give a
program called wercon.exe access to the network. To begin with, this is
a question that would mystify nearly everyone. (It turns out wercon.exe
is a tool that sends error reports back to Microsoft.) When I clicked
O.K., UAC asked me if it should let OneCare proceed. You would think
Windows would be able to figure this out for itself and that these
different security components would work together. But Vista leaves it
all to the user to sort out.
There's a real danger here: UAC is such a nag
that many folks will just turn it off, which Microsoft has made quite
easy to do. Disabling UAC is especially tempting if you have set up
limited accounts for your children that let you restrict the sort of Web
sites they can visit, the programs they can run, and the amount of time
they can spend on the computer. With limited accounts, the kids will
have to find a parent whenever a UAC window pops up. But if you give
them unlimited accounts to deal with UAC requests, they can undo any
Unfortunately, turning off UAC severely weakens
Vista's defenses. In a study of Vista security, Symantec (SYMC )
researcher Orlando Padilla found that without UAC, Vista's resistance to
hostile software was similar to that of Windows XP. Before Vista,
Windows promiscuously let programs install new software and make system
changes without any notice to the user. UAC goes way too far the other
way, requiring intervention for many innocent actions. The version of
UAC in Mac OS X works much better, rarely popping up except during a
software installation or upgrade.
As for general usability, I still have trouble
finding once-familiar features that have been hidden in odd places. For
example, unlike XP's My Network button, an item on Vista's main menu
called Network does not give access to any network settings.
Things don't have to be this way. I've spent as
much time with the redesigned Office 2007, and it feels quite
comfortable. I'm sure I'll get used to Vista's quirks, Microsoft will
smooth out the rough edges, and, in time, Vista's many attractions will
outweigh the drawbacks. For now, though, it's a pain.
American Women Through Time ---
Some Elite Private Universities are Eliminating Student
"Davidson Eliminates All Loans," by Scott Jaschik, Inside
Higher Ed, March 19, 2007 ---
Davidson College is today
announcing that it will change future financial aid packages so that
students will no longer need to borrow anything.
While several elite private
universities and flagship public universities have
effectively eliminated loans for students from
low-income backgrounds, these programs (except for the
one at Princeton University, which applies to all)
typically have income limits. Davidson would be out
front of other liberal arts colleges, including some
with much larger endowments.
The move comes at a time that many
colleges are rethinking their aid and loan policies.
Just last week, Hamilton College, for example, announced
it was eliminating all merit scholarships
and shifting the funds to
need-based aid. Among the reasons Hamilton cited was a
belief that demographics in the years ahead would
require greater support for need-based financial aid.
Continued in article
Bob Jensen's threads on higher education controversies
National Association of Biology Teachers: Instructional
Bob Jensen's threads on free online science and medicine
tutorials are at
Journal of Online Mathematics and its Applications
Bob Jensen's threads on free online mathematics and
statistics tutorials are at
March 20, 2007 message from Richard Campbell
Our school has been looking at Horizon-Wimba
for web conferencing but it is verrry expensive. I personnaly have been
using GoToMeeting ---
See the Techsmith blog below.
Richard J. Campbell
School of Business
218 N. College Ave.
University of Rio Grande
Rio Grande, OH 45674
March 20, 2007 reply from Bob Jensen
Yesterday Amy Dunbar set up a free conference call for eight people
on FreeConference.com ---
This free service can be used by businesses, individuals, and
It works great, although users do have to pay their own telephone
charges (if any). Some of us were using cell phones yesterday to avoid
long distance fees.
A Website Devoted to Introductory Accounting
Intro to Accounting - Simple (Lessons, Problems, Solutions)
This site is created to increase understanding
and popularity of accounting as a profession. Initially, the site was
developed for CIS countries; however, it became quite popular in the
United States, the United Kingdom, India and other countries. We
received a lot of feedback and thank you letters. Thus, we decided to
change design and revise all the materials. This site is the result of
Access to the site is completely free now. In
the future we are planning to create a more sophisticated system with
opportunities to adjust online learning environment to your individual
needs. The future site will at least include lessons, problems, and
multiple-choice questions. Solutions and answers will be available as
well. Some additional features will be provided on a prepaid basis.
We believe that knowledge should be available
to anybody without limits; thus, now and in the future, we will keep all
theoretical material free for your use. We hope that such a structure
will provide you with an opportunity to get material (free) and increase
your understanding (paid basis), if so desired.
Subjects like cost/managerial accounting,
statistics, economics, etc. will be covered in the future after we have
seen that this site reaches its goal. The goal is to provide an
opportunity to practice in a subject which is interesting to you at an
Meanwhile, thank you for taking some time to
read this message and for your desire to educate yourself. As a famous
writer said, Knowledge is light, and Negligence is darkness.
Bob Jensen's links to free online accounting textbooks
(and textbooks in other disciplines) can be found at
Top Undergraduate Business Schools According to
Business Week ---
"The Best Undergrad B-Schools," Business Week, March
19, 2007 ---
Some things have stayed the same. Wharton
School is once again No. 1, solidifying its hold on the title of best
undergraduate B-school in America. Outstanding faculty and high-caliber
students make Wharton a premier program. But Wharton isn't standing
still. In 2006-07 it introduced more opportunities to study abroad, more
student involvement in faculty research, and a cohort system for
undergrads that allows incoming students to take classes as a group,
much the way MBAs do.
The University of Virginia, meanwhile, made a
repeat appearance at No. 2, underscoring how different programs can
excel on their own terms. A tiny two-year program at a public
university, with in-state annual tuition of just $7,845, Virginia's
McIntire School of Commerce could not be more different from Wharton, an
elite four-year private-school program with enrollment and tuition about
four times as high.
Yet Virginia rates higher on student
satisfaction, sends a larger percentage on to top MBA programs, and is
roughly on par with Wharton on key measures of academic quality. A
dedicated faculty with a teaching style that demands active
participation and teamwork, plus innovations such as a new
multidisciplinary leadership program, don't hurt either.
We've profiled four business programs that
stood out from the pack. You'll learn how the University of California
at Berkeley leaped to No. 3; why No. 5-ranked University of Michigan is
phasing out its two-year program; and how Cornell University provides
opportunities for academic exploration at every turn. Finally, you'll
get a peek behind Villanova University's surprising jump to No. 12.
BERKELEY (NO. 3) Don't be fooled by students
lounging outdoors in the Haas Courtyard at University of California at
Berkeley's gloriously sunny campus. At the Haas School of Business, the
two-year undergraduate experience is packaged much like an MBA program,
complete with advanced courses and a summer cohort system that allows
students to progress as a group. But recruiter satisfaction, not the
program's MBA-like structure, explains why Haas rocketed up nine spots
to No. 3. In 2006 recruiters ranked Berkeley 41st. This year: No. 1.
What changed their minds? Haas cranked up its
recruiting efforts, staffing Berkeley's undergraduate career center with
an accounts manager who reaches out to potential employers and helps
place students. This fall alone, 584 companies attended career fairs at
Berkeley, up from 501 last fall, including a new early-bird event in
November that helped employers get a head start on intern recruiting.
The fair was one of a dozen held on campus throughout the year, where
the likes of Intuit (INTU ), Cisco Systems (CSCO ), and Google (GOOG )
sought out students more vigorously alongside such newcomers as
Berkeley also lavishes white-glove treatment on
recruiters, who get fresh fruit and other perks, including student
guides. "When our employers step out of their cars, they are taken by
the hand by students," says Tom Devlin, director of the center. To
confer VIP status on such leading recruiters as McKinsey, Microsoft
(MSFT ), and Goldman Sachs (GS ), the school put them in a group of
their own called the Berkeley Circle. Members get prominent placement on
the career center Web site and are encouraged to provide advice on what
their companies are looking for in undergrad business majors.
Of course, companies wouldn't be descending on
Berkeley if they weren't happy with the product. JPMorgan Chase & Co (JPM
). recruiter Sasha Price says Berkeley students have a rare combination
of business knowhow and communication skills that belies their youth.
"We have had some interviewers say to us: My God, these Haas students
know more than some of the MBAs we've just hired,'" Price says.
Although students at times feel shortchanged
when MBAs get preferential treatment in everything from faculty to
facilities, as they do at many other schools, there are no complaints
from undergrads when it comes to the job search. Stephen Wan, a senior
who will be working in Apple Inc.'s (AAPL ) finance department this
fall, says he has yet to see an unhappy employer on the Berkeley campus.
It's not just the weather.
MICHIGAN (NO. 5) With more undergraduate
business programs moving to a four-year format, No. 5-ranked Stephen M.
Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan faced a conundrum.
A top-ranked two-year program, it nevertheless was losing high-caliber
applicants to four-year programs. The solution: split the difference at
three years, and allow high school students to apply directly to the
program so that they have a guaranteed spot once they're sophomores.
Freshmen are also allowed to apply.
Interest in the program is already strong, and
competition for spots keen. For this fall, 900 high schoolers tossed
their hats in the ring. Only 65 got in, and their average high school
GPA was a staggering 3.9. Those who make the grade find a college
experience that is remarkably similar to an MBA program, with small
classes and an emphasis on both teamwork and competition. "We're all a
bunch of overachievers," says sophomore Michelle Berta.
And what about that extra year? It gives
students the chance to take courses outside their majors, study abroad,
and explore various business specialties before settling on one. By
allowing them to take business courses earlier, it also builds
competitive internship candidates and increases the chances to intern at
more than one company. More than 90% of Ross students surveyed by
BusinessWeek reported having internships already; the average at the Top
50 schools was 74%.
Some things haven't changed. The e-mail
responses from diligent professors still come at 2 a.m., and competition
for the top of the grading curve is stiff. White-glove treatment from
the B-school's own career service office is a given. And although
Michigan's undergraduates number about 25,000, Ross students feel part
of a tight-knit community while still getting that Big 10 experience.
Says senior Jason Tanker: "You have the best of both worlds."
CORNELL (NO. 10) Many b-schools produce
well-rounded grads—encouraging students to forage well beyond their
majors. Cornell, set amid the bucolic splendor of 4,000 wooded acres in
Ithaca, N.Y., takes academic exploration a big leap further. In addition
to the variety they encounter outside the business program, students get
a second dose inside, where they're required, strangely enough, to take
a full year of biology—thanks to the program's affiliation with
Cornell's agriculture school—as well as five electives ranging from
consumer behavior to emerging markets. They're also encouraged to look
beyond the program for business-related courses, studying human
relations in the School of Industrial & Labor Relations, or leadership
in the Johnson Graduate School of Management, home of Cornell's MBA.
That's one reason Cornell, graduating a little
over 200 business students annually, jumped four spots this year. "If
you are a quant person who never wants to do marketing, this isn't the
school for you," says Cindy van Es, a statistics professor.
At schools with both an undergrad and MBA
program, the younger students sometimes get the short end of the
resources stick. Not at Cornell, where the two programs have separate
faculties and facilities. There is one drawback, though. While
upper-level courses may have as few as a dozen students, packed lecture
halls of as many as 600 are common for introductory courses, which are
shared with many nonbusiness students. Still, Program Director Ed W.
McLaughlin says professors are recruited with the understanding that
teaching undergraduates is a top priority. Chrissie Eckhart, a senior
starting at HSBC (HBC ) in the fall, says one finance professor in a
lecture class with 300 students knew everyone by name: "Professors
really care about students."
Attracted by top-quality candidates, recruiters
are more than willing to make the trek to Ithaca. The top 10 recruiters
for business majors include eight big New York investment banks, among
them Lehman Brothers (LEH ), Morgan Stanley (MS ), and Merrill Lynch (MER
But for Cornell students with a hankering for
power suits and city living, the upstate location takes some getting
used to. Senior Jerald Chau, a Hawaii native and soon-to-be business
analyst at Fannie Mae (FNM ), calls Cornell's location "the boondocks,"
but says he has adapted. "Instead of surfing," he says, "I snowboard."
VILLANOVA (NO. 12) In the sunlit atrium of
Bartley Hall, home to Villanova's business school, students are bound to
bump into at least one professor who knows their name. Downstairs in the
"Exchange," servers decked out in dollar-bill ties dish out sandwiches
with names like "the Naz Stack," while a stock ticker runs overhead.
There, undergrads work on group projects, check e-mail on
school-provided laptops, or plot investment strategies for use around
the corner on the Applied Finance Lab's mock trading floor.
It's this personal attention, up-to-date
technology, and emphasis on real-world learning that earned Villanova
the No. 12 spot this year. That the school managed to leap seven spots
in one year is a testament to a major improvement in student
satisfaction. "People are happy," says Denis Connell, a senior
accounting major. "You can't escape it."
When James M. Danko arrived as dean in 2005, he
wanted the business school to join the ranks of nationally recognized
programs. He spent his first 100 days as dean meeting individually with
faculty to sort out their needs. One of his first big moves was to lose
the dowdy "College of Commerce & Finance" name, and in its place came
the sleeker-sounding Villanova School of Business. "I'm concerned about
Villanova's long-term brand," Danko says.
Among Danko's ideas for keeping Villanova on
the cutting edge are plans for a new innovation center, which will be
largely funded by alumni. He also commissioned a new undergraduate
center in Bartley Hall, where B-schoolers will be able to get help for
everything from a death in the family to advice on where to get the best
haircut. The new facility opens in September.
The changes go well beyond the cosmetic. A
revised curriculum this fall will include more advanced calculus to meet
the growing needs of high-caliber students, and, next year, freshmen
will begin taking new introductory courses, including business
communication. Faculty are learning how to use financial technology
tools in the classroom and have been visiting such companies as Goldman
Sachs, Lehman Brothers (LEH ), and Johnson & Johnson (JNJ ) to pick the
brains of executives generally.
And under Danko's leadership, previously
overlooked fields such as marketing are finally getting their share of
attention. Says Michael Radice, a senior marketing major: "They are
bringing in people who are hiring all across the board."
Prospective students are taking notice of the
improvements. Last year applications were up 35%, with a similar
increase likely for this year. "The basketball team is hot," says Danko.
"Well, so is the business school."
Bob Jensen's threads on the many controversies surrounding media
rankings of colleges are at
Should U.S. News Rankings Make College Presidents Rich?
"Should U.S. News Make Presidents Rich?" by Scott Jaschik,
Inside Higher Ed, March 19, 2007 ---
In a move that concerns some
experts on college admissions and executive compensation, the Arizona
Board of Regents has approved contract changes for Michael Crow,
president of Arizona State University, that link $60,000 in bonus pay to
an improved rating from U.S. News & World Report.
Crow — whose total compensation
already tops half a million dollars — was awarded an
additional bonus plan tied to achieving specific
Incentive-based bonuses are
increasingly common as
part of the compensation packages of college presidents
— the idea, common in the corporate sector, is that such
a system promotes accountability and rewards
case, he would be paid an extra $10,000 for each of 10
goals he achieves and would get an extra $50,000 if he
achieves all of them. Nine of the goals relate to
actions on which the university is the key actor (goals
such as increasing the diversity of freshmen, improving
freshman retention, adding to research expenditures,
improving faculty salaries, etc.). There is one goal
over which the university has no direct control — an
improved U.S. News ranking. If Crow achieves the
other nine only, he would miss a shot at $50,000 in
addition to the reward for the higher ranking.
While Arizona State has won
acclaim for many academic improvements and innovations
in recent years, it has never done well in U.S. News,
and is currently listed as
“third tier” among national
The East Valley Tribune on
Sunday drew attention to the rankings incentive, noting
that Arizona State’s provost had been quoted in
Inside Higher Ed just last week questioning whether
there was any intellectual basis to the U.S. News
approach to rankings.
Crow could not be reached for
comment Sunday, but he told the Tribune that
while he agreed that parts of U.S. News rankings
were “subjective,” other parts — such as graduation
rates — were valid and pointed to areas on which Arizona
State needs to improve.
Continued in article
Bob Jensen's threads on the many controversies surrounding media
rankings of colleges are at
Top Business Firms in 2007 According to Business Week
This year's list is chock full of companies that
are rewriting the rules in their industries. They are the agitators, the
pioneers, and the game-changers that are leading the way in the 21st
Business Week, March 26, 2007 ---
When it comes to anticipating
fashion trends, many apparel makers rely on the intuition of a
charismatic designer like Ralph Lauren or a savvy executive like Mickey
Drexler. But not the folks at Coach Inc. (COH ). Every year, the New
York maker of women's handbags assiduously interviews more than 60,000
of its customers through Internet questionnaires, phone surveys, and
face-to-face encounters with shoppers at the 300 stores. Such intense
market research has helped Coach executives spot trends well before the
herd, and this in turn has helped it to extend the brand far beyond the
leather bags that long were its trademark and into watches, accessories,
and clothing. After hearing customers complain that they couldn't find
decent carry-on luggage for weekend getaways, for example, the company
in July, 2006, launched its "Signature Stripe" travel bags--a new line
that accounted for a hefty 15% of Coach's sales of full-priced
merchandise during the first month out of the gate.
That ability to peer around corners ahead of
competitors has paid off big for Coach shareholders: Sales have grown an
average of 29% over each of the past three years, fueling a strong 63%
averaged return on invested capital during the same period. Such stellar
performance was enough to earn Coach the No. 2 spot in this year's
BusinessWeek 50, our 11th annual ranking of the best-performing
companies in the Standard & Poor's 500-stock index. "This research gives
us a real competitive advantage," acknowledges Coach Chief Executive Lew
Frankfort. "The only way for us to grow on a sustained basis was if we
evolved as our consumers evolved."
Companies in the BusinessWeek 50 represent our
choices as the "best in class" from each of the 10 sectors that make up
the S&P 500. To select this year's star performers, we first ran
companies through a proprietary screen that we refined this year to
emphasize two measures--how well each company's management has been
using the capital at its disposal and sales growth. We also chose only
the best performers from each sector, to ensure that we were rewarding
true management excellence and not just the ability to ride the wake of
a hot sector. And to provide the wisdom, perspective, and common sense
that computers can't, BusinessWeek's editors and reporters reviewed each
company on the list, making a limited number of changes where necessary.
OUTSTANDING CLASS The result may be one of the
strongest groups of companies in the 11 years that we've conducted this
annual search for the best performers. The Class of 2007 is chock full
of companies that are rewriting the rules of engagement in their
industries. They are the agitators, the pioneers, and the game changers
that are leading the way in the 21st century. Case in point: This year's
top performer, Google Inc. (GOOG ), is using the same mastery of
algorithms that enabled it to dominate Internet search to launch
innovative new services, including one brokering advertising for
traditional media. The rankings also include dynamic companies such as
Nucor (NUE ) (No. 4), which has deployed technology and cutting-edge
employee-incentive programs to stand the steel industry on its head, and
Apple (AAPL ) (No. 34), which is trying to revolutionize cell phones in
the same way it did music players.
Our screening also produced the names of
smaller companies playing at the top of their game, such as Rockwell
Collins Inc. (COL ) (No. 24) and Varian Medical Systems Inc. (VAR ) (No.
14). They're joined by outfits ranging from Best Buy (BBY ) (No. 32) to
payroll manager Paychex (PAYX ) (No. 40) to Black & Decker (BDK ) (No.
45). What distinguishes many of these organizations is a deep
understanding of customers, a competitive advantage that has enabled
them to sell more goods and services than rivals.
Best Buy, for example, recognized that computer
buyers were nervous about fixing their desktop machines and developed
its popular Geek Squad home PC repair service. For Paychex, a tight bond
with customers has enabled it not just to manage payrolls for its
small-business customers but also to provide tax services and benefits
consulting. This type of constant innovation is increasingly critical
for companies, given the shrinking lifespan of business plans. Chris
Zook, head of the global strategy practice at Bain & Co. and author of
the forthcoming management book Unstoppable: Finding Hidden Assets to
Renew the Core and Fuel Profitable Growth, says his research shows that
the average "shelf life" of business strategies has shrunk by roughly
50% over the past 15 years. The reason? "Globalization. Capital moves
faster, and differentiations are harder to defend," he says. "But
companies that are able to extend their franchise are able to achieve a
new surge in growth, which is one of the hardest acts in business."
Zook points to United Parcel Service Inc. (UPS
), which clocked in at No. 33 in this year's rankings. With its basic
business of delivering packages turning into a mature business growing
in the mid-single digits, Atlanta-based UPS conducted extensive customer
research that revealed that many of its corporate shippers were looking
to offload the chore of managing their supply chains, which would free
them to focus on their core businesses. So UPS went on an investment
binge that today enables it to do everything from managing warehouses
for customers to helping run clients' entire global transportation
network. For some customers, it even handles repairs: If you own a
Toshiba Corp. (TOSBF ) laptop that needs fixing, Toshiba provides an 800
number that's actually manned by UPS, which dispatches a UPS driver to
pick up the broken laptop for shipping to a UPS warehouse in Louisville,
where UPS-trained technicians fix it before shipping it back, via UPS,
of course. That diversification has enabled Toshiba to focus on its core
business of designing and building computers, and helped UPS boost its
sales an average 13% over each of the past three years. "UPS is not just
a transportation company anymore. It's an information technology company
focusing on transportation," says David Simchi-Levi, a professor and
supply-chain expert at Massachusetts Institute of Technology. "There is
going to be a lot of demand for such services, and UPS is perfectly
positioned to deliver them efficiently."
Inevitably, powerful macroeconomic forces
helped shape this year's BW 50 rankings. The Class of 2007 includes a
number of energy companies that are basking in the sharp rise in oil
prices over the past two years: Sunoco (SUN ) (No. 6), EOG Resources (EOG
) (No. 20), Valero Energy (VLO ) (No. 36), and xto Energy (No. 49). And
the housing boom taking place in recent years helped give a lift to a
number of companies on the list, including Bed Bath & Beyond (BBBY )
(No. 15), Sherwin-Williams (SHW ) (No. 22), and even Moody's (No. 29),
which has enjoyed a booming business providing credit ratings for the
trillions of dollars of mortgage-backed securities issued by Wall
Street. (To avoid perceptions of favoritism, we excluded BusinessWeek's
parent, The McGraw-Hill Companies (MHP ), from the rankings, even though
its performance would have earned it a spot in the top 50.)
If there's one common trait among these
companies, it's the degree to which these companies don't take their
success for granted. Truth is, many work hard to anticipate and head off
potential problems well before outsiders are even aware of these looming
challenges. That's the case at Starbucks Corp. (SBUX ) (No. 28, its
fourth consecutive appearance), where founder and Chairman Howard
Schultz recently sent other executives a memo--leaked by an employee to
a Starbucks blog--questioning whether such labor-saving initiatives as
having baristas use automatic espresso machines was leading to what he
called the "commoditization" of the Starbucks experience.
Continued in article
From the World Bank
Economic Opportunities for Indigenous Peoples in Latin America ---
From The Washington Post on March 20, 2007
How many companies did
Microsoft buy last year?
Arthur Andersen to Pay $73M In Enron Deal
A federal judge gave final approval to a $72.5
million settlement between Arthur Andersen and investors who sued the
accounting firm over its role in the 2001 collapse of Enron.
"Arthur Andersen to Pay $73M In Enron Deal," SmartPros, March 13,
The lead plaintiff, University of California
Board of Regents, has recovered more than $7.3 billion, including $2
billion or more each from Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce, J.P.
Morgan Chase (NYSE: JPM) and Citigroup (NYSE: C), but Merrill Lynch
(NYSE: MER) and Credit Suisse Group (NYSE: CS), who are also named in
the lawsuit, have asked a U.S. appeals court in New Orleans to rule that
the complaint should not have been certified as a class action.
U.S. District Judge Melinda Harmon signed
the final order, effectively ending the now defunct accounting firm's
involvement in the $40 billion class-action lawsuit.
Arthur Andersen was convicted in June 2002
of obstruction of justice for its role in the Enron saga. The U.S.
Supreme Court later overturned the conviction, but the accounting firm
is now virtually out of business.
Bob Jensen's threads on Enron and Worldcom are at
Understanding Race ---
From the Scout Report on March 16, 2007
Zotero 2.0 ---
For those trying to complete any lengthy
citations (or even brief ones), Zotero will be a most welcome find. The
program works as a Firefox 2.0 extension which helps users collect,
manage, and cite research sources. As it functions within the browser
itself, visitors can automatically capture citation information from web
pages, and users can also take notes along the way as they work. The
program also comes with complete documentation and is compatible with
all computers running on either Windows or Mac operating systems.
Google Desktop 5.0.703.5398 ---
Slogging through the contents of any hard drive
can be a laborious process, so it is nice to know that many aspects of
this task are improved with the use of this version of Google Desktop.
With this application, search results are returned in a web-page format
which resembles the Google site. Visitors can also customize the program
to add various gadgets, such as a calendar, a National Public Radio
gadget, and a virtual flower pot. This version is compatible with all
computers running Windows XP, 2003, and Vista.
WomenWatch: Feature on Women with Disabilities ---
Chest Presses, Not Breaths, Help CPR
Chest compression -- not mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation - seems to be the key in helping someone recover from cardiac
arrest, according to new research that further bolsters advice from heart
Marilynn Marchione, PhysOrg, March 16, 2007 ---
"Without Mouth-to-Mouth, CPR Still Works," The New York
Times, March 18, 2007 ---
Dramatic increase of Type 1 diabetes in under fives
Researchers are calling for more work in to the
reasons behind a big increase of young children with Type 1 diabetes. A new
study, led by Bristol University, has discovered that the number of children
under five-years-old with Type 1 diabetes has increased five-fold over 20
PhysOrg, March 16, 2007 ---
"Swell gel could bring relief to back pain sufferers:
Scientists at The University of Manchester believe injections of tiny
sponge-like particles could provide an alternative to major surgery in the
treatment of chronic lower back pain," PhysOrg, March 19, 2007 ---
"Sexually Transmitted HPV Remains Mystery," by Martha
Irvine, PhysOrg, March 16, 2007 ---
Nearly every working day, Dr.
Elizabeth Poynor encounters anxious young women who come to her New York
City office with an HPV diagnosis. The human papillomavirus is the most
prevalent sexually transmitted diseases - so common that researchers
estimate most people will have some form of it in their lifetime. Young
adults are especially at risk because they tend to be the most sexually
And yet Poynor finds that most of her young
patients - even if they've heard of a new vaccine aimed at preventing
the worst kinds of HPV - know little about the virus and the harm it can
Many women find themselves scrambling to
understand HPV after a routine Pap smear determines they have it. And
that, Poynor and others say, creates angst that could be avoided with
"This is a very common problem, period," Poynor,
a gynecological oncologist in private practice, says of HPV. "That's the
first thing I try to tell my patients, to put their minds at ease and to
potentially take away some of the stigma that a sexually transmitted
disease might carry."
The reasons that HPV is so little known are
many. Poynor thinks it's been overshadowed by higher-profile STDs, such
as HIV and herpes. Others note that, when marketing its vaccine,
pharmaceutical company Merck & Co. has chosen to focus on the potential
for cervical cancer rather than the virus itself, which also can cause
Continued in article
"Keep On Druckin': Blue-chip books on business management,"
by Ken Roman, The Wall Street Journal, March 17, 2007 ---
"The Effective Executive" by Peter F. Drucker (Harper & Row, 1967).
Effective Executive" is the quintessential guide to management
principles by the acknowledged master of the subject, Peter F.
Drucker. He defines effectiveness as "a habit . . . a complex of
practices that can always be learned." Those practices include
knowing where time goes, focusing on outcomes rather than work,
building on strengths and not weaknesses, and concentrating on a few
areas that will produce outstanding results. Drucker once observed
that there are not 24 hours in a day but only two or three; the
difference between the effective executive and everyone else, he
said, is the ability to use those hours productively and "get the
right things done."
2. "Management and Machiavelli" by
Antony Jay (Holt, 1967).
British author Antony Jay makes the case in
"Management and Machiavelli" that management is but a continuation
of the old art of government. He finds management principles in
Renaissance Italy, Bismarck's Prussia and imperial Rome. He regards
Machiavelli's "The Prince" (1513) as "bursting with urgent advice
and acute observations for top management"--e.g., strong vs. weak
leaders ("the barons are strong when the king is weak"). Jay shows
how the Roman Empire ran its world-wide business by putting in
command men who were "trained, selected and trusted by Rome to
govern the province." Ultimately, this is a portrait of leadership.
Machiavelli saw success and failure for states as stemming directly
from the qualities of the leader--the prince.
3. "What They Don't Teach You at Harvard
Business School" by Mark H. McCormack (Bantam, 1984).
There's no better guide to how to sell than
"What They Don't Teach You at Harvard Business School," but the
self- described "street smart" executive Mark H. McCormack also
offers invaluable advice on getting ahead and managing a business.
Showing how he used "applied people sense" to found the
sports-management company IMG, which helped transform professional
sports into big business, McCormack recommends learning how to utter
three hard-to-say phrases: "I don't know," "I need help" and "I was
wrong." A Drucker disciple, he seldom accepted incoming phone calls
("an interruption"), preferring to deal with phone messages in his
own time, when he could focus his attention. Email was made for guys
4. "Confessions of an Advertising Man"
by David Ogilvy (Atheneum, 1963).
Advertising is but a part of this book; the
real message here is management. David Ogilvy's principles apply to
any creative organization and many professional-service companies.
He tells us that when he worked as a sous-chef in a French kitchen,
he learned "exorbitant standards of service" that he later applied
to his own company. He obsesses about finding talent (people with
"fire in their bellies"), winning new business
("self-advertisement," "midnight oil")--and keeping it ("successful
polygamy depends upon pretending to each spouse that she is the only
pebble on your beach"). Having worked at the agency David Ogilvy
founded, I was lucky enough to have seen him put these principles
5. "Who Says Elephants Can't Dance?" by
Louis V. Gerstner Jr. (HarperCollins, 2002).
IBM was losing $16 billion a year and
contemplating a breakup strategy when Lou Gerstner arrived as CEO in
1993. In "Who Says Elephants Can't Dance?," he provides a
blow-by-blow account of how he stabilized the company (famously, he
said "the last thing IBM needs right now is a vision"), rebuilt its
strategy around IT services and e-business, and rehabilitated IBM's
reputation. In the process of this turnaround, Gerstner also
overhauled a "hothouse" culture that cut off IBM from a quickly
changing marketplace ("Culture isn't just one aspect of the game--it
is the game"). This playbook about executing a successful
competitive and cultural transformation--unlike so many others--was
actually written by the man whose name is on the cover.
Mr. Roman, the former chief executive of Ogilvy & Mather
Worldwide, is writing a biography of David Ogilvy for Palgrave
Forwarded by Paula
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near
Tampa, Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any
value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager
possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so
impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every
nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Missouri.
man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the
Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis
Associationfor Mental Health. A slide presentation has also
been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem. And this
little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is
now the author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the
Crabby Old Man
What do you see nurses? .....What do you see?
What are you thinking......when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man, .....not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .......with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food.......and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice....."I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice .....the things that you do.
And forever is losing .............. a sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not...........lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding ....... the long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse......you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am ...... as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .......as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of
Ten......with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ......who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen ...........with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. ..........a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty ........my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows........that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now .......... I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide ....... and a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty ........ my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other ......... with ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons ........have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me........to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .......... babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children ........ my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me ..........
my wife is now dead.
I look at the future .............I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .......young of their own.
And I think of the years...... and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man.........and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age ......look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles..........grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone........where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass
...... a young guy still dwells,
And now and again .........my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys.............. I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living.......... ...life over again.
I think of the years ...all too few......gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact........that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .........open and see..
Not a crabby old man. Look
A few from Maxine ---
They hold elections in November, because that's the best month for
picking out a turkey.
I hear you changed your mind at last. What did you do with the
Pitching a tent is no problem. I pitched mine into the trash years
You're welcome to kiss the cook. Guess where?
I always cook with charcoal. The gas comes later!
It's tourist season. How come we can't shoot them?
Don't let aging get you down. It's hard to get back up.
Butt jiggle is just another way of waving goodbye.
My definition of computer chips is what's left over after the sledge
If you woke up breathing then congratulations. It means you have
I think I've reached my sexpiration date.
I'm not saying sixty is old. But I'm thinking it.
Forwarded by Paula
What will be the theme of your funeral?
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral........I'm a gynecologist."
The proctologist fainted.